A market so bad that even Cheetos don't help

After noticing tonight that almost all of the gains from full year 2007 have now vanished in the first 17 days of 2008, I decided to turn on the television, slouch back on the sofa, and open a big bag of Cheetos. I've been doing Cheetos for at least 3o years so knew to have a couple of paper towels by my side. The bag pulls open. Anticipation and then the first crunch and that familiar orange stain begins to coat my hand. I eat a second, a third, then two at time, then three, they're not working. There's no relief. The crunch, the mess, it's all there but there's something wrong. They don't taste good. They're not the same. I look at the package. "0 grams trans fat". That was the secret ingredient. Whatever trans fats are, that was the flavor. And I'm still stuck with this damn market.